The Cost of Childcare

Costs, interviews, and lofty expectations

The importance of childcare

I never realized this until my daughter arrived but childcare may be the single most important thing you invest in during your child’s formative years.  My wife and I celebrated the birth of our daughter recently and with that, the self-education of cost and time management when it comes to child care. 

As you may be aware from prior posts, I am a Intensivist and my wife is an Emergency Medicine physician.  We are incredibly fortunate to have a dual physician income, however, our schedules make childcare challenging.  During our time on maternity/paternity leave, we quickly realized we do not have work hours conducive to daycare. 

My wife works predominantly eight-hour shifts that vary from morning, evening, or night.  I work 12-14 hour days consistently Monday through Friday while in the ICU.  You can gather that why sometimes our schedules overlap and at other times, we are “two ships passing in the night.”  If our child gets sick, we do not have the option to call out of work.  We also work early mornings and late nights outside working hours for daycare.  Daycare was out of the question. 

We were forced to toy with the idea of hiring a nanny or considering an au pair.  I will be completely transparent here; I was not open to an au pair.  I think it was the timing of it all.  It was the middle of the COVID-19 pandemic and we had just bought our first home in a difficult housing market.  The last thing I wanted to do was upgrade the living space of our residence, just to fill one room with my first born and my guest room with an au pair.  My home would be at maximum capacity only months after moving!

Nanny it is

With all of that in mind, the search for a nanny began.  However, here was the problem… we had no clue where to start. 

Fortunately for us, we had met an incredible nurse running a night nursing and nanny consultant company called Your Baby Consultant.  We had already been using her services for night nursing approximately 3 nights a week during the first few weeks of our child’s life.  We did use word-of-mouth to ask around for recommendations but ultimately turned to Your Baby Consultant for help.  We could not have higher regard for Your Baby Consultant.

They were incredible.  With their service, they interview you and your spouse, review your typical work hours, and discuss specific childcare needs.  They then place ads and interview applicants on their own.  They vet multiple individuals until a handful of candidates that meet all of your needs remain.  From there you are introduced to these potential candidates and can interview them for yourself. 

This process was a little anxiety provoking. 

The realization that one day (in the not-too-distant future) you are going to hand your most precious possession over to a stranger really overwhelmed my wife and I.  However, we had full trust in our consultant and we proceeded to interview the candidates.

Interviewing candidates

This process was also novel to my wife and I.  Being a trainee, and working in academia for so many years, we were always on the ‘interviewee’ side of things.  We were rarely the interviewer, much less the employer!  Despite our inexperience we interviewed our first candidate. 

Candidate #1

On paper, candidate #1 (we will call her), checked all ‘the boxes.’  She was in her early 50s, she had daughters of her own, she had a background in education, and she spoke Spanish (this was important to us).  Further, candidate #1 had previously worked as a nanny for a family with intellectually disabled children.  She appeared to have unending patience and great references from her prior employer. 

We took this candidate out to eat and realized quickly that despite being perfect on paper, holding a conversation was difficult.  On the drive home, my wife and I discussed our opinions of the interaction.  The realization that we would not be getting Mary Poppins as our nanny was a difficult pill to swallow.  We called our consultant and explained our thoughts and concerns.  Despite how great a candidate #1 was, she did not come across as polished as we would like.  Our consultant then set up an interview with candidate #2. 

Candidate #2

Candidate #2 was different in a refreshing way.  She was in her mid-20s, had impeccable manners, was incredibly well-spoken, college-educated, and had aspirations of pursuing further schooling. 

Our interview with her was incredible and she truly “wowed” us, but there were a few catches. 

First, she was young and had so many plans for her future.  This was great to see as we had just spent the better part of a decade pursuing our medical education as well.  We understood however that it requires being overwhelmingly devoted and selfish with one’s time to achieve these dreams. 

Candidate #2 expressed that she would need to go to night school 2-3 times a week, which would pose difficult for us to accommodate.  Further she would be studying for her classes with some regularity, which she should!  However, this would leave her juggling time with our daughter (for which she would be employed for) against her time trying to succeed in academia.  As a medical professional and life-long student, this seemed an unfair task.  I wanted to hire an individual whose sole obligation is my daughter. 

As much as I know this candidate would be a great nanny, she is using this job to fill a year before she pursues a lifelong passion.  I share her passion, but I also don’t want to be searching for a nanny again in 1 years’ time.  We expressed our gratefulness and thanks to this candidate, but our goals just didn’t align.

Choice made

Ultimately, we settled with Candidate #1.  This decision was reached after some self-reflection as well as some sound advice. 

First, my wife and I, along with our nanny consultant came to the conclusion that our interactions with candidate #1 may have been driven by anxiety.  We had to understand that despite feeling open and approachable, we were still positioned as potential employers.  For someone looking for a job, this power differential can be intimidating. 

Secondly, my wife and I spend the majority of our days around each other at home, or in a medical setting surrounded by other well-educated and polished professionals.  We can often come to normalize our interactions and forget that we are tucked away in our ivory tower, interacting with those who have walked a similar professional path. 

Perspective

We discussed my mother-in-law.  She is an individual who is energetic, a phenomenal mother, an even better grandmother.  I would trust her with my child completely.  Yet, if you were to look at her as a potential candidate, her CV may not be as polished as we had come to expect either.  If you only looked at her on paper you would overlook one of the most experienced childcare providers ever (in my opinion)! 

Lastly, serendipitously, around this time I was on the phone with my brother who was undergoing contract negotiations with his nanny.  He called to ask what hourly rate we were planning to offer.  During these discussions I described our hiring journey.  I relayed how I was still unclear if we made the right choice going with candidate #1.  His advice as a small business owner was that candidate #1 may be a better contender than I realized. 

My brother has spent ample time hiring for his business and he brought to my attention the importance of employment need.  Candidate #1, like so many others during the pandemic, had lost her previous job somewhat unexpectedly.  She expressed that she was having trouble making her mortgage payments.  “Candidates who truly need the job, for reasons like that, are always individuals I am more likely to hire.”  Meaning, you want an employee who needs the job!  They are incentivized to work hard, be punctual, and show up every day…because their livelihood may depend on it. 

Cost

Being a blog with a financial focus, I would be remiss if I did not touch on the cost of our nanny.  Costs can be salaried or reimbursed on an hourly rate.  Further, the going rate can be influenced by cost of living in your area, geographic location, number of children, and overall job expectations. 

For us, living in the southeastern United States, we pay our nanny $21.00 an hour before taxes.  We guarantee our nanny 40 hours a week.  We use an online company called HomeWork Solutions to help manage our payroll.  HomeWork Solutions maintains all tax documents for both employer and employee.  This service charges approximately $200 a quarter.  Your Baby Consultant provided us with a generic Nanny Contract template that we subsequently modified on our own to reflect our needs and expectations.

To extrapolate that means our nanny is paid $3,360 a month.  That’s $40,320 before taxes annually.  It is a substantial sum of money that is not going towards debt elimination.  That really detracts from our goal of debt elimination, fast! However, for the wellbeing and safety of my daughter as well as peace of mind for my wife and I…it’s the best money we’ve ever spent!

I should point out; childcare expense is another great reason to have an emergency fund.  Should you suffer unexpected financial difficulty, you still need to care for your child!  This is where an emergency fund would come in handy.

The journey so far…

So far, our relationship, both personal and professional, with our nanny has been great.  It is a complicated path hiring a stranger to join your inner circle.  However, with a level head, the right approach, and some excellent consulting, our return to work has been smooth and stress-free. 

Stay motivated!

The Motivated M.D.

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Let us know what your childcare process was like in the comments below.  Did you have a similar experience?  How do your costs compare?  Did you lean on family for help?  Or hire an Au Pair?  We would love to hear from you!

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